So I went swimming last week ... for the first time in almost two months! Sad how I live across the street from the Caribbean Sea and have already taken it for granted! I went through a few rough weeks, but think I have finally come out of it with clarity. First of all, I need to spend more time in the water! Amazing how refreshing it has been - both physically and mentally!
I think I've learned over the past few weeks that this journey isn't going to be what I thought it would be or what friends thought it would be - and that is okay. I finally realized that God has other plans, so it's a matter of staying on His path and not mine - and embracing that.
I feel that there have been several signs lately pointing me in the right direction. I had such a fabulous time with all my girls visiting ... really reminded me how much I miss them and how I consider Charlotte "home". On Wednesday, I couldn't sleep and just kept thinking about how I was excited to go back. NOT that I'm ready to go home tomorrow because I love my friends here and love the fact that it's 80 degrees every day, but that I know that this stop was temporary. And knowing that, I need to make the most of the time I have left here in paradise to make sure I don't have any regrets. And NOT to say that I won't rethink spending winters in STX and summers in CLT once it starts getting cold out again ... =)
As much as I didn't want to set a date for my flight home and was planning on letting the next few months play out, it just hit me. My initial plan was to stay down here for six months, so my lease runs through April 30 ... and ironically, the last direct flight of the peak season is on April 30 ... so I couldn't stop thinking about making that the official trip home. Plus, knowing that Kirby and Andy will be in the states the first of May, we've talked about how much fun it would be to meet up in Atlanta or Charlotte (still such a bummer it's not for the Cardinals series in ATL!). After not sleeping well the night before, I went for a walk that morning ... put my ipod on shuffle, and the very first song played was "Carolina" by Eric Church ... where he sings in the chorus, "Carolina, you keep calling me home". Wow ... it just felt like a sign. So I couldn't wait any longer. I had nothing but comfort that April 30 would be my trip home. I ended up using my US Air credit and considering the first class ticket was less than $100 more than the coach ticket, I rewarded myself with the upgrade. AND ... I still can't figure out how they didn't charge me the $150 change fee, but I didn't want to ask! All I know is that I'm excited about heading back ... who knows if it will be for four months, four years, or forever, but I know I will be ready and excited to be home.
THEN ... the next morning I got a note from Shelby saying that her roommate just told her she was moving out ... so all of a sudden, she has an extra bedroom and offered it to me when I return! I am BEYOND EXCITED! We both agree that as much as we love spending time with each other, her lease is only through July 31 and we will both be ready for our own places again, but what a perfect transition plan! Plus I already promised my brother I wouldn't even ask to stay with him, since last time two weeks turned into two years! I'm already thinking about walks around Myers Park, Ginbu, Mellow Mushroom, Selwyn Pub on Sunday afternoons, wine at Nolen ... ah, summer in Charlotte with Shelby ... life is good!!!
Amazing how things just seem to fall in place as they are supposed to.
Amazing how much better I feel these days too - just needed to go through some bumps to realize what I need to work on (and thankfully Shelby and my mom were here to help me with that), so I've finally got some clarity. At least for this week ;) I think it helps too to have something to look forward to, and to know that my time here is limited so I need to make the most of it - I live in the Caribbean and it's freakin' winter!!!!!!!!!!!
Over the past few weeks, I was completely overwhelmed trying to keep up with both jobs and all my guests. But I am so glad I have a different mentality ... I am so incredibly lucky for all of the people who have been able to visit ... even for those who have at least considered it! I need to embrace how lucky I am and show off this beautiful place where I live!
This week I received an email quoting "You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life." -Albert Camus. Again, I feel that my purpose down here is different than I had in mind, but I'm finally starting to learn what it is really about.
I mean, I didn't win the lottery and I'm not living down here on vacation. So I'm learning about balance ... and boundaries ... and being able to say no. Another thing I've confirmed about myself on this journey is that I'm certifiably crazy ... amazing how I can make life in the Caribbean busier than anywhere else I have ever lived! But you know what, I've learned that is just who I am.
I can't say how excited I am about going back without saying how sad I will be to leave. So we're not going to talk about that yet ...
I look forward to what the next few months have to offer ... and can't wait to see you all soon back on the mainland!
Jan 30, 2011
Jan 27, 2011
Taking the island by storm
St Croix has no idea what just hit it! Three of my best girlfriends from Charlotte flew in over the weekend ... Amy, Lacy, and Michelle. Add Shelby to that mix, and we make up the "Fab 5"! Oh, how I've missed those girls! My voice still hasn't recovered from all of the laughing and screaming!
The girls flew in on Saturday, with Michelle the second one off the plane after her upgrade to first class. Amy and Lacy were soon to follow ... we immediately celebrated with some Bud Light Limes on the way home from the airport. Still amazes me we can't talk or text and drive here, but it is legal to drink and drive! Dropped off stuff at my place (I was a little concerned fitting three people and luggage in both my Jeep and apartment, but it worked out just fine ... nice and cozy!), then walked down to Sandcastles to watch the sunset. Met my friend Bruno, who they all immediately fell in love with. Hate he was busy working, but we sure enjoyed hanging out on his patio for a while!
Headed over to Christiansted that evening for dinner at the restaurant Bacchus ... a place I had not yet been to, but had always heard wonderful things. Amy just found out that a friend of hers from college owns the restaurant, so away we went! Immediately it was the nicest restaurant on the island I've been to ... actually might be the first indoor air conditioned place I've been to. And all of a sudden, it felt like we were back in Charlotte! Even more, we had the most AMAZING meal! Seriously, we all said that it was one of the best meals we had ALL EVER had!!! Met the owner Tim at the end of the meal and couldn't stop thanking him for a incredible dining experience. Of course the wine and tears were flowing all night, so it REALLY felt like our typical girls' night out in Charlotte!
Sunday and Monday we pretty much did the same thing ... hung out at Rainbow Beach, then popped into Rhythms for lunch and fruity drinks as needed! Love the lime in de coconut! We had such a fabulous time both days just hanging out and catching up. For the first time in three months, I FELT LIKE I WAS ON VACATION. AND IT WAS WONDERFUL. Sunday night we had quite the hook-up to watch the football games (Amy is from Pittsburgh and a HUGE Steelers fan) - hopefully I have as much luck with Superbowl Sunday for Nick's 30th birthday! (Nick also immediately texted me when the Packers won the NFC Championship that if the power goes out during the Superbowl, he will be shooting at people until it comes back on!) Really reminded me of our girls' nights out in Charlotte as we were tailgating in the parking lot - this time with pizza instead of dessert, but same concept =) Had a few freak out sessions on the drive home with spiders ... ah, the joys of owning a jeep with no windows!
Monday afternoon we headed up to Normas to drink with the pigs (I'm proud of Amy and Lacy for going in with me and Michelle), where Tim met us again ... and he ended up taking home a puppy! We all got together again that evening for dinner with Kirby, Andy, Lisa, and Jeff at Rowdy Joe's ... yet another Charlotte girls' night out experience ... I'm sure we were so loud that we won't be asked back again!
Tuesday morning we walked down to Polly's for breakfast (I had never tried breakfast there other than the delicious muffins and coffeecake!), then back to my place where the girls got packed up. I was the one who started crying that day on the way to the airport ... had such a great time, wasn't ready for them to leave, and sure miss my crew back home! And good to know where I call "home" =)
The girls flew in on Saturday, with Michelle the second one off the plane after her upgrade to first class. Amy and Lacy were soon to follow ... we immediately celebrated with some Bud Light Limes on the way home from the airport. Still amazes me we can't talk or text and drive here, but it is legal to drink and drive! Dropped off stuff at my place (I was a little concerned fitting three people and luggage in both my Jeep and apartment, but it worked out just fine ... nice and cozy!), then walked down to Sandcastles to watch the sunset. Met my friend Bruno, who they all immediately fell in love with. Hate he was busy working, but we sure enjoyed hanging out on his patio for a while!
Headed over to Christiansted that evening for dinner at the restaurant Bacchus ... a place I had not yet been to, but had always heard wonderful things. Amy just found out that a friend of hers from college owns the restaurant, so away we went! Immediately it was the nicest restaurant on the island I've been to ... actually might be the first indoor air conditioned place I've been to. And all of a sudden, it felt like we were back in Charlotte! Even more, we had the most AMAZING meal! Seriously, we all said that it was one of the best meals we had ALL EVER had!!! Met the owner Tim at the end of the meal and couldn't stop thanking him for a incredible dining experience. Of course the wine and tears were flowing all night, so it REALLY felt like our typical girls' night out in Charlotte!
Sunday and Monday we pretty much did the same thing ... hung out at Rainbow Beach, then popped into Rhythms for lunch and fruity drinks as needed! Love the lime in de coconut! We had such a fabulous time both days just hanging out and catching up. For the first time in three months, I FELT LIKE I WAS ON VACATION. AND IT WAS WONDERFUL. Sunday night we had quite the hook-up to watch the football games (Amy is from Pittsburgh and a HUGE Steelers fan) - hopefully I have as much luck with Superbowl Sunday for Nick's 30th birthday! (Nick also immediately texted me when the Packers won the NFC Championship that if the power goes out during the Superbowl, he will be shooting at people until it comes back on!) Really reminded me of our girls' nights out in Charlotte as we were tailgating in the parking lot - this time with pizza instead of dessert, but same concept =) Had a few freak out sessions on the drive home with spiders ... ah, the joys of owning a jeep with no windows!
Monday afternoon we headed up to Normas to drink with the pigs (I'm proud of Amy and Lacy for going in with me and Michelle), where Tim met us again ... and he ended up taking home a puppy! We all got together again that evening for dinner with Kirby, Andy, Lisa, and Jeff at Rowdy Joe's ... yet another Charlotte girls' night out experience ... I'm sure we were so loud that we won't be asked back again!
Tuesday morning we walked down to Polly's for breakfast (I had never tried breakfast there other than the delicious muffins and coffeecake!), then back to my place where the girls got packed up. I was the one who started crying that day on the way to the airport ... had such a great time, wasn't ready for them to leave, and sure miss my crew back home! And good to know where I call "home" =)
Back to the fun stuff
Sorry I've taken a bit of a blog hiatus. Definitely spent a lot of time recently analyzing my journey so far. Think it has been good for me to have my ups and downs, and it certainly has been a learning process, but better logged in my journal than my blog. I hate to bore you with the details ... and I'm sure I'll get no sympathy for my "crazy" life in the Caribbean!
Back to the fun stuff, my mom visited! She flew down on Monday the 11th...luckily through Chicago and not Charlotte or Atlanta, which is ironic for January! She only had one plane change in San Juan with a 30 minute delay...but still a full day of travel. Monday we had dinner down at Sandcastles where my friends Bruno and Torrence work. At the end of the week, mom said the mahi she had that night was her favorite meal of the week. My friend Michael joined us for drinks and exchanged some tax assistance with some beautiful bougainvillea flowers!
Tuesday was back to work for me, but exploring for mom. We did Turtles for lunch, then mom headed downtown Frederiksted. Then it was the typical Tuesday night - bingo on the beach, dinner at Rowdy Joe's. Apologies to Lisa and Jeff, I think we've confirmed I'm officially the bingo bad luck charm! Dinner was delicious as always. Mom had never eaten edamame before (though she was going to go home and tell dad we ate soybeans), but I may have ruined it for her since this edamame is fried ...and oh so good!
Wednesday morning mom walked down to Turtles and brought us back breakfast. My friend John can make a mean cinnamon roll and almond danish! We opted for a late lunch at Blue Moon since we had kayak plans that night instead of jazz. Mom again had the mahi since it is so fresh here, but she did agree that I had the best crab cake she's ever had! Yes, if you're sensing a theme here, we did eat well ...and lots!
That evening we signed up for the moonlight kayak tour - again, mom's first kayak experience - by the light of the stars and bioluminescence bay - even better! Of course it was my first experience in the back of the kayak, which seemed like a lot more work! Actually, the water was rougher than any other time I had been out there. Thanks to the "Christmas winds" ... it was the first arm workout I'd had in a long time! Another cool experience, though after going three times, it is amazing the difference in lighting, visibility, and weather each time.
Thursday morning mom helped me with some desserts for Polly's (in addition to trying out some lemon poppy seed muffins that week - thanks mom, I've also made the lemon poppy seed coffeecake!) - and despite my new "rule" of saying no, they talked me into a few desserts since they had a tv crew from a travel channel coming in! Hopefully they gave me props =) We actually had lunch at Polly's that day, then went to Rhythms that night for dinner and trivia. This time mom tried fresh local wahoo for the first time - another dining success! And another successful trivia week coming in near the top ... I guess my contribution to the group is always bringing someone who knows some of the answers, since I sure don't!
Friday I was able to take the day off of work - WOO HOO! Mom and I headed over to Christiansted for lunch, shopping, and walking along the boardwalk, then we drove to Point Udall, then to the Divi Resort and Casino ... for massages and gambling! Talk about a great day! Especially after winning $50 playing blackjack! Mom was disappointed ... I guess she is spoiled by all of those nice casinos back home, especially since she's been the big winner lately. But I had just enough to buy our dinner at Blue Water Terrace that evening - a restaurant out East I had never been to before, and dinner was delicious! And I can't believe I skipped right over the massages ... probably one of the best I've ever had and best set-up where you could feel the ocean breeze and hear the waves crashing!
Saturday we got up and did the hike at Carambola, then stuck around for lunch and a little hanging on the beach until it started raining. Ran a few errands on the way back, then decided to have a nice low key night in - bake and watch football. Go figure, just as we sat down with dessert in the oven and were watching the second quarter of the Packers game, the power went out! I was at first afraid I knocked out the power of the building with all of my baking, but the ENTIRE west side of the island was dark! Sounds like it happens all of the time, but it was the first I had experienced a 3 hour power outage. My brother (Packers fan) and friend Andy (Falcons fan) had to keep us updated on the game - hate we missed it!
Sunday drove out to Sandy Point and sat at the beach for a while (can't believe mom forgot to have me put sunscreen on her back ... ouch! But at least she said she'd rather go back with some color than nothing .... just hate it was a burn instead of a tan), then did some beach bar hopping, from Coconuts (ironic watching the football game in snowy Chicago while tending to sunburns) to Normas (Aunt Rita, I keep forgetting the "I Dig the Pig" hat you sent me ... will be perfect for pictures with the drinking pigs!) to the Lost Dog. Love my Sunday night pizza from the Dog!
My only miss was walking downtown during cruise ship day (surprisingly only one ship the entire week mom was here). Selfishly, I was hoping to avoid Polly's in case they asked me to bake again that day since mom and I had plans to be east all day. Does avoidance count as saying "no"? =)
Mom headed home on Monday morning ... unfortunately, as I was guilt-fully laying in a hammock reading a book (thanks Bank holiday!), got a call from dad that her flight from Miami to Chicago had been canceled and rescheduled ... for Tuesday evening! So luckily dad was able to make some phone calls and get her on flights from Miami to Tampa to Chicago to Peoria ... and after lots of delays and a long day in the air and airports, mom finally made it into Peoria (and somehow her luggage beat her) and they were home at 1:30am ... sorry for the 20 hour trip home, but hope the rest of the week made it worth it!
Back to the fun stuff, my mom visited! She flew down on Monday the 11th...luckily through Chicago and not Charlotte or Atlanta, which is ironic for January! She only had one plane change in San Juan with a 30 minute delay...but still a full day of travel. Monday we had dinner down at Sandcastles where my friends Bruno and Torrence work. At the end of the week, mom said the mahi she had that night was her favorite meal of the week. My friend Michael joined us for drinks and exchanged some tax assistance with some beautiful bougainvillea flowers!
Tuesday was back to work for me, but exploring for mom. We did Turtles for lunch, then mom headed downtown Frederiksted. Then it was the typical Tuesday night - bingo on the beach, dinner at Rowdy Joe's. Apologies to Lisa and Jeff, I think we've confirmed I'm officially the bingo bad luck charm! Dinner was delicious as always. Mom had never eaten edamame before (though she was going to go home and tell dad we ate soybeans), but I may have ruined it for her since this edamame is fried ...and oh so good!
Wednesday morning mom walked down to Turtles and brought us back breakfast. My friend John can make a mean cinnamon roll and almond danish! We opted for a late lunch at Blue Moon since we had kayak plans that night instead of jazz. Mom again had the mahi since it is so fresh here, but she did agree that I had the best crab cake she's ever had! Yes, if you're sensing a theme here, we did eat well ...and lots!
That evening we signed up for the moonlight kayak tour - again, mom's first kayak experience - by the light of the stars and bioluminescence bay - even better! Of course it was my first experience in the back of the kayak, which seemed like a lot more work! Actually, the water was rougher than any other time I had been out there. Thanks to the "Christmas winds" ... it was the first arm workout I'd had in a long time! Another cool experience, though after going three times, it is amazing the difference in lighting, visibility, and weather each time.
Thursday morning mom helped me with some desserts for Polly's (in addition to trying out some lemon poppy seed muffins that week - thanks mom, I've also made the lemon poppy seed coffeecake!) - and despite my new "rule" of saying no, they talked me into a few desserts since they had a tv crew from a travel channel coming in! Hopefully they gave me props =) We actually had lunch at Polly's that day, then went to Rhythms that night for dinner and trivia. This time mom tried fresh local wahoo for the first time - another dining success! And another successful trivia week coming in near the top ... I guess my contribution to the group is always bringing someone who knows some of the answers, since I sure don't!
Friday I was able to take the day off of work - WOO HOO! Mom and I headed over to Christiansted for lunch, shopping, and walking along the boardwalk, then we drove to Point Udall, then to the Divi Resort and Casino ... for massages and gambling! Talk about a great day! Especially after winning $50 playing blackjack! Mom was disappointed ... I guess she is spoiled by all of those nice casinos back home, especially since she's been the big winner lately. But I had just enough to buy our dinner at Blue Water Terrace that evening - a restaurant out East I had never been to before, and dinner was delicious! And I can't believe I skipped right over the massages ... probably one of the best I've ever had and best set-up where you could feel the ocean breeze and hear the waves crashing!
Saturday we got up and did the hike at Carambola, then stuck around for lunch and a little hanging on the beach until it started raining. Ran a few errands on the way back, then decided to have a nice low key night in - bake and watch football. Go figure, just as we sat down with dessert in the oven and were watching the second quarter of the Packers game, the power went out! I was at first afraid I knocked out the power of the building with all of my baking, but the ENTIRE west side of the island was dark! Sounds like it happens all of the time, but it was the first I had experienced a 3 hour power outage. My brother (Packers fan) and friend Andy (Falcons fan) had to keep us updated on the game - hate we missed it!
Sunday drove out to Sandy Point and sat at the beach for a while (can't believe mom forgot to have me put sunscreen on her back ... ouch! But at least she said she'd rather go back with some color than nothing .... just hate it was a burn instead of a tan), then did some beach bar hopping, from Coconuts (ironic watching the football game in snowy Chicago while tending to sunburns) to Normas (Aunt Rita, I keep forgetting the "I Dig the Pig" hat you sent me ... will be perfect for pictures with the drinking pigs!) to the Lost Dog. Love my Sunday night pizza from the Dog!
My only miss was walking downtown during cruise ship day (surprisingly only one ship the entire week mom was here). Selfishly, I was hoping to avoid Polly's in case they asked me to bake again that day since mom and I had plans to be east all day. Does avoidance count as saying "no"? =)
Mom headed home on Monday morning ... unfortunately, as I was guilt-fully laying in a hammock reading a book (thanks Bank holiday!), got a call from dad that her flight from Miami to Chicago had been canceled and rescheduled ... for Tuesday evening! So luckily dad was able to make some phone calls and get her on flights from Miami to Tampa to Chicago to Peoria ... and after lots of delays and a long day in the air and airports, mom finally made it into Peoria (and somehow her luggage beat her) and they were home at 1:30am ... sorry for the 20 hour trip home, but hope the rest of the week made it worth it!
Jan 8, 2011
A week of celebration ... and a few tears
When Shelby booked her flight for the first week of January (and a week after her birthday), I promised her festivals and celebrations in her honor. We had no idea what we were in for!
Shelby flew down on New Years Day ... she came in on the same plane that Amy flew back on ... so talk about increasing my airport pick-up/drop-off efficiency by only having to make one trip for two friends! We met Lisa and Jeff for dinner that evening at Eat at Cane Bay ... one of the only restaurants open on the holiday (which felt strange, considering it was a Saturday). Shelby and Lisa are friends from nursing school, so it was fun to have Shelby visit two sets on friends on the island.
We were looking forward to having a nice relaxing day on the beach on Sunday. After lots of active visitors, Shelby promised me she just wanted to hang out on the beach, and I gladly accepted! We started with a nice long walk on Sandy Point, then planned on the typical Sunday funday activities - Rhythms at Rainbow Beach, Coconuts, and the Lost Dog. Well we hit two of three, as we left Rhythms when it started raining. We came back to my place and just hung out - again no complaints since it was nice to just sit around and catch up - and relax (though I was missing the sun)! We made it out for pizza at the Dog and just as we were leaving, Shelby ran back in the building and shouted "Hurry! We're going to get stuck in the parade!" It felt like a Seinfeld episode! Sure enough, my Jeep was parked right in between the police leading the parade and a line of cars / floats in what was our first parade of the week. Whew, thank goodness we avoided that one. Who knows how long we could have got stuck - and we had things to do. Came home and started baking, as Shelby, my superior when it comes to baking, assured me that muffins will retain more moisture a day after baking - so much for those 4:30 mornings - woo hoo!
Made my 7am delivery on Monday, then we had the rest of the day to ourselves. We walked downtown to check out all of the cruiseship festivities, drove to Christiansted for lunch and some window shopping, then over to the Buccaneer for pedicures. I am really enjoying her visit at this point! Even better, we stopped at the grocery store for wine and cheese and just enjoyed a night in - wow, I really needed more days like this!
Then when we got home, I received a note from the coffeeshop that they had completely sold out of EVERYTHING from Monday and needed an entire stock of goodies for Tuesday - ugh! I mean, it's a compliment that the items I'm baking are going over so well, but I was back to work full time for the Bank on Tuesday, had Shelby on island visiting (funny that I just replaced "in town" with "on island), and really can't afford spending 4 hours a day baking. But of course I did ... and for the first time, I had a bit of a breakdown since I DIDN'T WANT TO BAKE. What? Me? Not wanting to bake? Who had I become?!? I didn't want to spend the time and energy grocery shopping, baking, and cleaning ... especially when I had done it all the night before and I just wanted to enjoy ONE night off! So over the course of the rest of the week, the former "joy" of baking has officially turned into a "job" ... which I find myself no longer enjoying. I am quickly realizing that I love to bake when it is for my friends ... and on my time. And one item a week or so ... not 4 items 4 times a week! I am curious how I would feel if I did not already have a full-time job - or if I would still enjoy baking if it were my full-time job - or if it will always be something to enjoy as a hobby only.
So Monday night, we made everything again. Delivered on Tuesday, then back to work. Of course of all days, my internet connection was down, so I frantically made a few phone calls and was lucky to catch Kirby and Andy and be able to work from their place during the day. And back to work I was ... I hit their couch just in time for my first conference call ... and didn't move all day. Of course most of my co-workers had been off the past two weeks, so we all had a lot of catch up work to do. Kirby and Andy and their friends walked into their place at 6, to me still sitting on the couch working in the dark. What a welcome back! Luckily I was soon able to logoff, then 9 of us met for dinner at Rowdy Joes. Thankfully, Lisa had the day off, so I'm glad she and Shelby had the day to enjoy together, especially since I wouldn't have made a good host that day. I was definitely exhausted after an unexpected 4 hours of baking, then a non-stop day of work!
Wednesday we woke up to blaring music ... and I mean early. What kind of parades start at 5am? Well, all part of the Crucian Christmas festival we found out! Shelby spent some time walking and checking it all out, then I did take a break over lunch where the festivities were still going. On one hand, it was good to see some of the island culture, but on the other hand, I quickly realized how much I enjoyed the usual peace and quiet (once you get past the roosters at least). We ate from the street vendors - I had a roti (chick pea tortilla with chicken and potatoes in a Caribbean curry sauce - delicious!) and peanut punch (best drink ever - and a good add to coffee!), while Shelby had roasted goat. I tried a bite and it was good! Back to work for me, back to the beach for Shelby, then we ended up staying in again that night to bake. Shelby had been out and about for most of the day, but I did feel bad not "entertaining". We had another dinner of wine and cheese, but I almost didn't feel right about staying in again. Looking back, I wonder if maybe I'm so used to being out that too many nights in made me a little stir-crazy (Goal 1: Finding a happy medium so I don't have to be out all of the time, yet I don't go crazy by staying in - I guess it makes a difference working from home as well, since I enjoy the break from the apartment after being inside all day). The good news is, we got all the baking done again (and Shelby was an excellent assistant, taste-tester, cleaner, etc.), so at least it felt productive, but I was just afraid it did not feel like vacation for her.
Same kind of day on Thursday, and we broke for lunch at Polly's. I will say everything I have ever had there is delicious (of course I refuse to buy any of my own stuff!). So I do think it is a great little shop (though overpriced ... especially seeing how much they charge for items, knowing what they pay me!), but I guess it is also teaching me a lesson in the industry. That evening we were finally in for a nice sunset, so I forced myself away from the computer to walk down to Sandcastles to enjoy the view - again, another little reminder of why I moved down here and that I need to take time to stop and smell the roses. We all then headed to Rhythms for what was our closest taste of trivia victory yet! Shelby ... or as she was nicknamed my "Know It All Wildcard" ... has quite a talent when it comes to Trivial Pursuit ... and we ended up getting beat by one point! So disappointing that we were so close ... but we did have a lot of fun.
Our gameplan for Friday was for me to get up and do a few hours of work, take a mid-day 4 hours of vacation, then I needed to be back for a 3pm meeting. I woke up with some time to spare and thought getting the grocery store trip out of the way first thing would be a good start, but before we left I checked my email and had a last minute request for desserts at Polly's. I frantically looked around the kitchen to see what I could make since I was out of eggs ... scotcheroos it was. When Shelby woke up and I was already worked up, she was like "why are you all stressed out already this morning?" I told her I had to bake for Polly's ... and she reminded me that "NO", I did not have to do anything (when it is usually an every other day schedule - with a few day before requests in recent weeks - definitely nothing day of). So of course I ran out of corn syrup and was unable to make the scotcheroos ... I debated going to the grocery store then to get supplies ... and again, she reminded me of all the other plans and obligations I had already made for the day ... which really did not give me any time to make any desserts. She also reminded me that I couldn't just drop everything else anytime they made a last minute request and let them expect I would always have the flexibility and willingness to do so. I struggled back and forth, but finally responded that I unfortunately did not have the time or any ingredients to make desserts that day. Instead of feeling like it was their fault since I had no advance warning, I still felt like I let them down (Goal 2: Not to feel bad about saying no).
So after the first "no" in a long time, we made a mad dash to the grocery store ... and that's when we got stuck in Parade #2 traffic. The children's parade was on Friday, and I sure didn't expect half of the roads closing down, again especially so early in the morning! Of course this just added to my already stressful morning, since I needed to be back for work, wasn't sure of my way around on the backroads in some not so nice parts of the island, etc. I finally got done what needed to be done in the morning, then Shelby and I headed to Carambola Resort to hike to the tide pools. What a great few hours hiking and sitting down for lunch on a beautiful day with a gorgeous view. Again, it is amazing when I appreciate the opportunities I have for living here and need to take advantage of more often! We were sitting at lunch, and I enjoyed the feeling that I was on vacation for once. We had just enough time for what should have been making it back for my meeting ... not envisioning that the roads would still be closed ...ugh! Luckily we finally made it home, I was able to finish my work and get a head start on Saturday's baking assignment, then we met up with Lisa and Jeff for an awesome Greek dinner and live Blue Grass music.
After this morning's delivery (with an extra dessert to make up for missing yesterday), we had a nice relaxing morning. Sat on the balcony as we drank our coffee (which one of us made every morning ... the first time I had even used the coffee pot ... and thanks Dport for the coffee!) - again, something I need to do more often, when I look at the amazing view I have and have so quickly taken for granted. We had been hearing all week about the adults' parade, so all we really thought about were additional road closures, leaving early for the airport, etc. We walked downtown to check it out as it was just starting ... talk about the slowest moving parade ever! Instead of sticking around for more of the parade (which I caught on tv a good 6 hours later ... and WOW, when I sent Shelby pictures her response of "Sweet Jesus" was absolutely appropriate - pretty much all of the local women wearing as little clothing as possible having a booty-shake competition throughout the streets), we decided to hit the beach for one last hour before she had to head back. It was crazy how it hit me on the drive to the airport how quickly the week flew past. How I wasn't ready for her to leave. How I felt that we still needed to do more "vacation" like things, since it felt like I worked all week. I mean, I anticipated the tears when she dropped me off at the CLT airport when I was moving down here, but they came as more of a surprise today. Shelby assured me that she had a nice, relaxing vacation (which is the purpose of a beach trip), but I'm just bummed that we didn't have the type of week I envisioned. I guess God sent Shelby down this week since she is one of my absolute best friends - to have someone I love and trust remind me that I came down here for a reason and I'm not fulfilling that purpose - that I live in paradise and I have the ability to make my own choices that determine my happiness, and shouldn't have the bank or the coffeeshop or anything or anyone else to blame.
I made a pitstop at the store on my way home from the airport and realized how exhausted I was, so a night in was definitely in store. I need to stop running myself ragged to the point where when I finally have some free time, I am so tired that all I want to do is sleep and take a social-hiatus from the rest of the world (back to Goal 1 of finding that happy medium) ... though, all my CLT friends could say that's what I've done the past two years as well ... go go go, then need a complete break by myself to re-charge.
Interesting that if you would have asked me a few weeks ago how long I would be down here, I definitely would have said a lot longer than the 6 months I planned ... I was already making plans for "next year's" boat parade, Christmas cards, etc. (speaking of, thanks to all of you who sent me Christmas cards. I ordered mine and knew they would be late a few days late, but now the company can't even track the shipment!). But something has happened lately where I feel that I've lost a lot of the clarity that I thought I was on track to find ...
Shelby flew down on New Years Day ... she came in on the same plane that Amy flew back on ... so talk about increasing my airport pick-up/drop-off efficiency by only having to make one trip for two friends! We met Lisa and Jeff for dinner that evening at Eat at Cane Bay ... one of the only restaurants open on the holiday (which felt strange, considering it was a Saturday). Shelby and Lisa are friends from nursing school, so it was fun to have Shelby visit two sets on friends on the island.
We were looking forward to having a nice relaxing day on the beach on Sunday. After lots of active visitors, Shelby promised me she just wanted to hang out on the beach, and I gladly accepted! We started with a nice long walk on Sandy Point, then planned on the typical Sunday funday activities - Rhythms at Rainbow Beach, Coconuts, and the Lost Dog. Well we hit two of three, as we left Rhythms when it started raining. We came back to my place and just hung out - again no complaints since it was nice to just sit around and catch up - and relax (though I was missing the sun)! We made it out for pizza at the Dog and just as we were leaving, Shelby ran back in the building and shouted "Hurry! We're going to get stuck in the parade!" It felt like a Seinfeld episode! Sure enough, my Jeep was parked right in between the police leading the parade and a line of cars / floats in what was our first parade of the week. Whew, thank goodness we avoided that one. Who knows how long we could have got stuck - and we had things to do. Came home and started baking, as Shelby, my superior when it comes to baking, assured me that muffins will retain more moisture a day after baking - so much for those 4:30 mornings - woo hoo!
Made my 7am delivery on Monday, then we had the rest of the day to ourselves. We walked downtown to check out all of the cruiseship festivities, drove to Christiansted for lunch and some window shopping, then over to the Buccaneer for pedicures. I am really enjoying her visit at this point! Even better, we stopped at the grocery store for wine and cheese and just enjoyed a night in - wow, I really needed more days like this!
Then when we got home, I received a note from the coffeeshop that they had completely sold out of EVERYTHING from Monday and needed an entire stock of goodies for Tuesday - ugh! I mean, it's a compliment that the items I'm baking are going over so well, but I was back to work full time for the Bank on Tuesday, had Shelby on island visiting (funny that I just replaced "in town" with "on island), and really can't afford spending 4 hours a day baking. But of course I did ... and for the first time, I had a bit of a breakdown since I DIDN'T WANT TO BAKE. What? Me? Not wanting to bake? Who had I become?!? I didn't want to spend the time and energy grocery shopping, baking, and cleaning ... especially when I had done it all the night before and I just wanted to enjoy ONE night off! So over the course of the rest of the week, the former "joy" of baking has officially turned into a "job" ... which I find myself no longer enjoying. I am quickly realizing that I love to bake when it is for my friends ... and on my time. And one item a week or so ... not 4 items 4 times a week! I am curious how I would feel if I did not already have a full-time job - or if I would still enjoy baking if it were my full-time job - or if it will always be something to enjoy as a hobby only.
So Monday night, we made everything again. Delivered on Tuesday, then back to work. Of course of all days, my internet connection was down, so I frantically made a few phone calls and was lucky to catch Kirby and Andy and be able to work from their place during the day. And back to work I was ... I hit their couch just in time for my first conference call ... and didn't move all day. Of course most of my co-workers had been off the past two weeks, so we all had a lot of catch up work to do. Kirby and Andy and their friends walked into their place at 6, to me still sitting on the couch working in the dark. What a welcome back! Luckily I was soon able to logoff, then 9 of us met for dinner at Rowdy Joes. Thankfully, Lisa had the day off, so I'm glad she and Shelby had the day to enjoy together, especially since I wouldn't have made a good host that day. I was definitely exhausted after an unexpected 4 hours of baking, then a non-stop day of work!
Wednesday we woke up to blaring music ... and I mean early. What kind of parades start at 5am? Well, all part of the Crucian Christmas festival we found out! Shelby spent some time walking and checking it all out, then I did take a break over lunch where the festivities were still going. On one hand, it was good to see some of the island culture, but on the other hand, I quickly realized how much I enjoyed the usual peace and quiet (once you get past the roosters at least). We ate from the street vendors - I had a roti (chick pea tortilla with chicken and potatoes in a Caribbean curry sauce - delicious!) and peanut punch (best drink ever - and a good add to coffee!), while Shelby had roasted goat. I tried a bite and it was good! Back to work for me, back to the beach for Shelby, then we ended up staying in again that night to bake. Shelby had been out and about for most of the day, but I did feel bad not "entertaining". We had another dinner of wine and cheese, but I almost didn't feel right about staying in again. Looking back, I wonder if maybe I'm so used to being out that too many nights in made me a little stir-crazy (Goal 1: Finding a happy medium so I don't have to be out all of the time, yet I don't go crazy by staying in - I guess it makes a difference working from home as well, since I enjoy the break from the apartment after being inside all day). The good news is, we got all the baking done again (and Shelby was an excellent assistant, taste-tester, cleaner, etc.), so at least it felt productive, but I was just afraid it did not feel like vacation for her.
Same kind of day on Thursday, and we broke for lunch at Polly's. I will say everything I have ever had there is delicious (of course I refuse to buy any of my own stuff!). So I do think it is a great little shop (though overpriced ... especially seeing how much they charge for items, knowing what they pay me!), but I guess it is also teaching me a lesson in the industry. That evening we were finally in for a nice sunset, so I forced myself away from the computer to walk down to Sandcastles to enjoy the view - again, another little reminder of why I moved down here and that I need to take time to stop and smell the roses. We all then headed to Rhythms for what was our closest taste of trivia victory yet! Shelby ... or as she was nicknamed my "Know It All Wildcard" ... has quite a talent when it comes to Trivial Pursuit ... and we ended up getting beat by one point! So disappointing that we were so close ... but we did have a lot of fun.
Our gameplan for Friday was for me to get up and do a few hours of work, take a mid-day 4 hours of vacation, then I needed to be back for a 3pm meeting. I woke up with some time to spare and thought getting the grocery store trip out of the way first thing would be a good start, but before we left I checked my email and had a last minute request for desserts at Polly's. I frantically looked around the kitchen to see what I could make since I was out of eggs ... scotcheroos it was. When Shelby woke up and I was already worked up, she was like "why are you all stressed out already this morning?" I told her I had to bake for Polly's ... and she reminded me that "NO", I did not have to do anything (when it is usually an every other day schedule - with a few day before requests in recent weeks - definitely nothing day of). So of course I ran out of corn syrup and was unable to make the scotcheroos ... I debated going to the grocery store then to get supplies ... and again, she reminded me of all the other plans and obligations I had already made for the day ... which really did not give me any time to make any desserts. She also reminded me that I couldn't just drop everything else anytime they made a last minute request and let them expect I would always have the flexibility and willingness to do so. I struggled back and forth, but finally responded that I unfortunately did not have the time or any ingredients to make desserts that day. Instead of feeling like it was their fault since I had no advance warning, I still felt like I let them down (Goal 2: Not to feel bad about saying no).
So after the first "no" in a long time, we made a mad dash to the grocery store ... and that's when we got stuck in Parade #2 traffic. The children's parade was on Friday, and I sure didn't expect half of the roads closing down, again especially so early in the morning! Of course this just added to my already stressful morning, since I needed to be back for work, wasn't sure of my way around on the backroads in some not so nice parts of the island, etc. I finally got done what needed to be done in the morning, then Shelby and I headed to Carambola Resort to hike to the tide pools. What a great few hours hiking and sitting down for lunch on a beautiful day with a gorgeous view. Again, it is amazing when I appreciate the opportunities I have for living here and need to take advantage of more often! We were sitting at lunch, and I enjoyed the feeling that I was on vacation for once. We had just enough time for what should have been making it back for my meeting ... not envisioning that the roads would still be closed ...ugh! Luckily we finally made it home, I was able to finish my work and get a head start on Saturday's baking assignment, then we met up with Lisa and Jeff for an awesome Greek dinner and live Blue Grass music.
After this morning's delivery (with an extra dessert to make up for missing yesterday), we had a nice relaxing morning. Sat on the balcony as we drank our coffee (which one of us made every morning ... the first time I had even used the coffee pot ... and thanks Dport for the coffee!) - again, something I need to do more often, when I look at the amazing view I have and have so quickly taken for granted. We had been hearing all week about the adults' parade, so all we really thought about were additional road closures, leaving early for the airport, etc. We walked downtown to check it out as it was just starting ... talk about the slowest moving parade ever! Instead of sticking around for more of the parade (which I caught on tv a good 6 hours later ... and WOW, when I sent Shelby pictures her response of "Sweet Jesus" was absolutely appropriate - pretty much all of the local women wearing as little clothing as possible having a booty-shake competition throughout the streets), we decided to hit the beach for one last hour before she had to head back. It was crazy how it hit me on the drive to the airport how quickly the week flew past. How I wasn't ready for her to leave. How I felt that we still needed to do more "vacation" like things, since it felt like I worked all week. I mean, I anticipated the tears when she dropped me off at the CLT airport when I was moving down here, but they came as more of a surprise today. Shelby assured me that she had a nice, relaxing vacation (which is the purpose of a beach trip), but I'm just bummed that we didn't have the type of week I envisioned. I guess God sent Shelby down this week since she is one of my absolute best friends - to have someone I love and trust remind me that I came down here for a reason and I'm not fulfilling that purpose - that I live in paradise and I have the ability to make my own choices that determine my happiness, and shouldn't have the bank or the coffeeshop or anything or anyone else to blame.
I made a pitstop at the store on my way home from the airport and realized how exhausted I was, so a night in was definitely in store. I need to stop running myself ragged to the point where when I finally have some free time, I am so tired that all I want to do is sleep and take a social-hiatus from the rest of the world (back to Goal 1 of finding that happy medium) ... though, all my CLT friends could say that's what I've done the past two years as well ... go go go, then need a complete break by myself to re-charge.
Interesting that if you would have asked me a few weeks ago how long I would be down here, I definitely would have said a lot longer than the 6 months I planned ... I was already making plans for "next year's" boat parade, Christmas cards, etc. (speaking of, thanks to all of you who sent me Christmas cards. I ordered mine and knew they would be late a few days late, but now the company can't even track the shipment!). But something has happened lately where I feel that I've lost a lot of the clarity that I thought I was on track to find ...
Jan 7, 2011
Sailing to the BVIs
Catching up from the holidays ... Amy and I were invited to sail to the British Virgin Islands with friends Jeff, Lisa, Tony, and LauraLee. Even given my history of seasickness, I did not want to pass up the opportunity! How many more times would I be invited ... how many other weeks could I easily take off a few days of work ... what other friends would want to spend their STX vacation on a boat instead, etc.
We set sail on Monday afternoon (12/27), but not before a full day of working for the Bank, baking for Polly's, then of course baking for the sail - I'm getting tired of all this baking and not getting to enjoy any of it, plus I couldn't forget the birthday cake for Lisa! Needless to say, it was an exhausting day, and I was happy just to sit down and breathe by the time we hit the boat.
Luckily my friend Lisa is also a nurse practitioner, so after telling her my concerns for the trip, she was able to prescribe me the motion sickness patch for behind my ear. I applied the patch on Monday morning and it definitely made me feel a little irritable (or maybe it was my to do list beforehand!), but I looked at it as proof of entering my system.
Monday night was great - weather could not have been more perfect (I was wearing a sundress, not even a need for a cover-up) - and I was giving all credit to the patch, as I felt completely fine on the sail. It had been a long and busy day, so I was exhausted and went to bed early. Nothing like waking up in the morning on a boat in the middle of the BVIs!
Our first stop was Tortola - such a cute little place! We did a little shopping while Captain Grant checked us in, then set sail again - made a pitstop for everyone else to go snorkeling. Given I was feeling great and didn't want to take any chances of making myself sea-sick, I stayed on the boat and just enjoyed the view. We then stopped on Jost Van Dyke at the Soggy Dollar Bar - very cool and touristy place. Again, I knew my limits and didn't want to chance anything, so stuck with drinking water and gingerale. Then, all of a sudden, "The sea was angry that day, my friends" (insert Seinfeld quote). It was rough just taking the dinghy from the island back the sailboat. And from there, we entered the Atlantic, where there were no islands around to slow down any of the swells.
I have learned from prior experience to stay on the front of the boat, always keep my eyes on the horizon, and have the fresh air hit my face. I stayed out front as long as I could possibly stand it - holding on for dear life, watching the enormous swells and anticipating the hits to the boat, getting soaked and then cold. I finally gave in and went to the back of the boat. Unfortunately, within 30 minutes, poor Amy got sick first, then I wasn't too far behind her. We spent the rest of the rough sail hanging on to the back of the boat - us and our bucket, saltine crackers, and more gingerale. Both of us will admit it was a pretty awful few hours! And apologies to Kindred Spirit - I still owe you a bucket!
We finally made it to our next destination (Beef Island) - but by then, Amy and I had lost our appetite and hit the sack (okay, I admit, I was able to stomach some birthday cake). Luckily we woke up the next morning both feeling much better. We sailed over to Trellis Bay and walked around the very unique, artsy island. We made another stop on the way back for Lisa and Jeff to scuba dive, while Amy and I had secured our seats on the front. Unfortunately the sun didn't come out that day - so it was so much cooler on the sail back than on the way out. But we were entertained by an awesome dolphin show during our final sail -
We set sail on Monday afternoon (12/27), but not before a full day of working for the Bank, baking for Polly's, then of course baking for the sail - I'm getting tired of all this baking and not getting to enjoy any of it, plus I couldn't forget the birthday cake for Lisa! Needless to say, it was an exhausting day, and I was happy just to sit down and breathe by the time we hit the boat.
Luckily my friend Lisa is also a nurse practitioner, so after telling her my concerns for the trip, she was able to prescribe me the motion sickness patch for behind my ear. I applied the patch on Monday morning and it definitely made me feel a little irritable (or maybe it was my to do list beforehand!), but I looked at it as proof of entering my system.
Monday night was great - weather could not have been more perfect (I was wearing a sundress, not even a need for a cover-up) - and I was giving all credit to the patch, as I felt completely fine on the sail. It had been a long and busy day, so I was exhausted and went to bed early. Nothing like waking up in the morning on a boat in the middle of the BVIs!
Our first stop was Tortola - such a cute little place! We did a little shopping while Captain Grant checked us in, then set sail again - made a pitstop for everyone else to go snorkeling. Given I was feeling great and didn't want to take any chances of making myself sea-sick, I stayed on the boat and just enjoyed the view. We then stopped on Jost Van Dyke at the Soggy Dollar Bar - very cool and touristy place. Again, I knew my limits and didn't want to chance anything, so stuck with drinking water and gingerale. Then, all of a sudden, "The sea was angry that day, my friends" (insert Seinfeld quote). It was rough just taking the dinghy from the island back the sailboat. And from there, we entered the Atlantic, where there were no islands around to slow down any of the swells.
I have learned from prior experience to stay on the front of the boat, always keep my eyes on the horizon, and have the fresh air hit my face. I stayed out front as long as I could possibly stand it - holding on for dear life, watching the enormous swells and anticipating the hits to the boat, getting soaked and then cold. I finally gave in and went to the back of the boat. Unfortunately, within 30 minutes, poor Amy got sick first, then I wasn't too far behind her. We spent the rest of the rough sail hanging on to the back of the boat - us and our bucket, saltine crackers, and more gingerale. Both of us will admit it was a pretty awful few hours! And apologies to Kindred Spirit - I still owe you a bucket!
We finally made it to our next destination (Beef Island) - but by then, Amy and I had lost our appetite and hit the sack (okay, I admit, I was able to stomach some birthday cake). Luckily we woke up the next morning both feeling much better. We sailed over to Trellis Bay and walked around the very unique, artsy island. We made another stop on the way back for Lisa and Jeff to scuba dive, while Amy and I had secured our seats on the front. Unfortunately the sun didn't come out that day - so it was so much cooler on the sail back than on the way out. But we were entertained by an awesome dolphin show during our final sail -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBkxqU6_i1g.
Finally arrived home safe and sound Wednesday evening ... so great to be back on land! Fun with friends and cool trip overall, just hate that I don't think I'll ever be a sailor!
Finally arrived home safe and sound Wednesday evening ... so great to be back on land! Fun with friends and cool trip overall, just hate that I don't think I'll ever be a sailor!
Two little letters, one big word
"No". That's a word that hasn't seemed to be in my vocabulary for who knows how long. I always find myself overwhelmed, over-committed, over-worked, etc. And you would think by simply by saying "no", I could avoid that feeling. Ironically, you would think that moving to the Caribbean would dismiss those feelings as well. Unfortunately, having to say "no" today just made me feel bad and unreliable.
I started baking for the coffeeshop over a month ago. Talk about a dream come true - I have always loved baking and said if there was anything in the world I could do, I would run a bakery on the beach. Well here I am in St Croix doing just that! As you may remember, I had asked the Bank for a leave of absence. My plan was to come down here and take a break from Corporate America, find a part-time job for something to do, a way to meet people, and help pay the rent - my goal was to find something where I would probably never have the opportunity to do otherwise. So, baking 20-25 hours a week seems to have been exactly what I was looking to do. But all of the baking/shopping/cleaning on top of a 40+ hour a week job while having guests visit is not ideal!!!
I guess sometimes you can have too much of a good thing. I haven't wanted to complain because I am very lucky and grateful for: (1) the flexibility of the Bank allowing me to work remotely, (2) the opportunity to bake and follow a dream, and (3) so many friends and family willing and able to visit - but I do need to learn my limits and be able to use the word "no", otherwise I am not truly experiencing the purpose of being down here!
I started baking for the coffeeshop over a month ago. Talk about a dream come true - I have always loved baking and said if there was anything in the world I could do, I would run a bakery on the beach. Well here I am in St Croix doing just that! As you may remember, I had asked the Bank for a leave of absence. My plan was to come down here and take a break from Corporate America, find a part-time job for something to do, a way to meet people, and help pay the rent - my goal was to find something where I would probably never have the opportunity to do otherwise. So, baking 20-25 hours a week seems to have been exactly what I was looking to do. But all of the baking/shopping/cleaning on top of a 40+ hour a week job while having guests visit is not ideal!!!
I guess sometimes you can have too much of a good thing. I haven't wanted to complain because I am very lucky and grateful for: (1) the flexibility of the Bank allowing me to work remotely, (2) the opportunity to bake and follow a dream, and (3) so many friends and family willing and able to visit - but I do need to learn my limits and be able to use the word "no", otherwise I am not truly experiencing the purpose of being down here!
Jan 3, 2011
New Year
Happy 2011! Amazing what a year I had in 2010. Lots to look back on and be thankful for, and 2011 is starting off just as well. Though in typical Jen Grant fashion, I have bit off more than I can chew. I have lots of updates to make, just not sure when I'll have the time to write them.
I am thankful for all of you who are following my journey. I still can't believe I'm about the busiest I've ever been in my entire life! So maybe that should be my resolution, to reassess and re-prioritize. I want to ensure I get out of this experience what I came here for ... and not to leave before I find it. In the meantime, I am reminding myself of all the updates to be made from the past few weeks:
• Setting sail
• Choices
• Feeling like a bad host
• Looking in the mirror: tired and unhappy (this is not why I came here!)
• The (former) joy of baking
• Resolutions
Here's to a Happy 2011!
I am thankful for all of you who are following my journey. I still can't believe I'm about the busiest I've ever been in my entire life! So maybe that should be my resolution, to reassess and re-prioritize. I want to ensure I get out of this experience what I came here for ... and not to leave before I find it. In the meantime, I am reminding myself of all the updates to be made from the past few weeks:
• Setting sail
• Choices
• Feeling like a bad host
• Looking in the mirror: tired and unhappy (this is not why I came here!)
• The (former) joy of baking
• Resolutions
Here's to a Happy 2011!
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